Random Thoughts

(Would you cheat on this?)

ESPN - Philadelphia woman has accused Memphis Grizzlies guard Marko Jaric of sexual assault, multiple sources familiar with the investigation told SI.com. The incident allegedly occurred in February when the Grizzlies were in Philadelphia to play the 76ers. Jaric is a seven-year NBA veteran who is in his first season with the Grizzlies. Last month Jaric married longtime girlfriend and Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima.

Now I know what everybody is going to say.   Wow Marko Jaric is an idiot.   How could he cheat on Adriana Lima blah, blah, blah.   Well not me.  Clearly Adriana Lima is a dead fish in the sack.  She thinks she can just throw her glove on the field and be a good fuck.  Well that’s not how it works.   Looks will only get you so far.   Bottom line is if you’re not into sucking dick or anal then your man is going to cheat on you.  So let this be a lesson to all chicks out there.  You want to keep your man from sexually assaulting chicks?    Be a freakshow in the sack.    Because if Adriana Lima can’t keep her man from cheating with looks alone then you have no fucking shot.   Here endth the lesson.

In case you're wondering I have all the lights off in my apartment right now, pulled down the shades and I'm just rocking back and forth with a lighter in the air. Best rendition of "Dead or Alive" ever! Seriously what can't Bill Belichick do? No wonder everybody in the league wants to play for this guy. I mean wouldn't you? What a voice! Do me a favor and give this guy a Grammy already. And while you're at it cue the Motherfucking Duckboats!!!!

(How many tricks does Bill have up his sleeve? No wonder this chick can't get off his tip)

Josh Q Public

GRETNA, La. (AP) — A judge decided Wednesday that Corey Miller — who gained fame as rapper C-Murder — will remain in jail until his second-degree murdertrial because he broke the rules of his house arrest.  He is scheduled for trial April 20 in the death of Steve Thomas, a 16-year-old who was killed during a 2002 brawl at a nightclub in Harvey.  As a condition of his original $500,000 bond, Miller was prohibited from leaving his grandmother's home.

You know it’s like the chicken and egg, which came first, the nickname “C-Murder” or the actual murder itself?  I just went crazy trying to figure it out too. I mean can you call yourself “C-Murder” without actually murdering anyone?  I wouldn’t think so, right.  I mean you can’t call yourself “C-Jerks Off in the Shower” if you don’t jerk off in the shower.  But who knows, maybe this guy planned ahead? Whatever it is, people are going to be arguing about this for the next 1000 years and we probably still won’t know the right answer.  Was it the murder, or the nickname? It's just one of those brain-teasers that you can't get out of your head.

-thanks to jimmy for the tip

Wisconsin - Authorities say a 20-year-old Racine man was charged with sexual misconduct Thursday after he was found Tuesday waiting outside an Indiana middle school with a diamond engagement ring and love letter for a 14-year-old girl. The man, Alex Edwards, allegedly told officers in Terre Haute, Ind., that he had sex with the girl in August and said at a hearing Thursday that he believed the relationship was the same as that of a 26-year-old and a 20-year-old, authorities said... Edwards met the 14-year-old at a park in April when he was visiting a cousin in Indiana.... The two allegedly had sex at a local motel... Edwards and the girl continued chatting, but earlier this week, the girl asked Edwards to stop calling... Edwards went to the school and asked school staff if they could get the girl out of class, the sergeant said. When that didn't work, Edwards asked staffers to give her a cell phone he was carrying, Shahadey said. A staff member called the girl's father instead. [Police] later found Edwards waiting by a tree outside the school.

Is this the classic love story or what? Boy meets girl. In spite of their mismatched nature, they fall in love. A madcap, wacky relationship ensues. Circumstances get in the way. People say they're not right for each other. They split up. But one side or the other refuses to quit on their relationship and in the end true love triumphs over all.. Someone starts the slow clap, a pop ballad swells, your date has a good cry, fade to black. Half the movies in Hollywood and 100% of Katie Hudson films follow this exact premise. Wait... the girl is 14. Never mind. This is just sick. But I won't cry for Alex Edwards. I'm sure a good-looking, well-adjusted guy like him will have no problem finding a nice girl his own age once he gets out of jail.

PS. Is it just me, or does Alex Edwards look like he could be this guys younger brother?

I'm in desperate need of some wins today to build my bankroll for our March Madness party next Friday at the Place. So I've hit the books and this is what I've come up with.

PS - If you haven't taken off next Friday from work yet what are you waiting for?

March Madness at the Place

Friday March 20

Tip Time - 12'oclock

Michigan Vs. Illinois -2.5

I’m telling you right now the team that nobody wants to play next week is none other than your Michigan Wolverines.  They’ve already dominated UCLA and Duke this year and have shades or Rumeal Robinson written all over them.     So look for Michigan to run the table and win the Big 10 Tourney and according to my math that means they will have to cover today vs. Illinois.

The Pick - Michigan +2.5

SC vs. Miss State 150

I have lost 37 straight totals.    The odds are on my side.

The Pick – Over 150

Florida Vs. Auburn +3.5

If people are looking for El Presidente’s March Madness sleeper look no further than the Auburn Tigers.   They are long, athletics and tough as nails.  They’ve been playing great basketball down the stretch unlike the Gators who have been playing like dog shit.   Plus Auburn’s best player is some dude who wears long sleeves which is intimidating as fuck.   I mean how do you compete with that?   The answer is you can’t.

The Pick – Auburn +3.5

Villanova vs. Louisville 140

I bet my house on the over yesterday in Louisville vs. Providence.   If Providence hit even 2 of their 97 three pointers that they missed it would have gone over.    Villanova plays fast and so do the Cardinals.  This has to go over right?

The Pick - Over 140

BC vs Duke -10

BC just matches up well with Duke and Tyrese Rice always seems to play well against them.  10 pts is way too many for Duke to be laying here.   If these two teams had different names it would almost be a pick em.

The Pick – BC +10

Reader Email

If the Bruins shit play over the last month or so has been like a bad hangover, then last night's hang-on-tight 5-3 victory over the lottery-bound division rival Senators was like holding down a big breakfast and a Gatorade---things got a little better but you still got a ways back to feeling 100%.
 
Phil Kessel, the soon-to-be restricted free agent who was this close to donning a music note on his chest after last Wednesday's trade deadline (nothing fans want to hear but a harsh reality of the salary cap era), potted his game-winning 28th on a Sakic-like wrister and team-leading 29th into an empty net with 55.6 left on the clock to seal the win in addition to giving local gamers a +110 return on their investment for laying the 1.5 goals. The win, coupled with Detroit's shootout loss, has the Bs tied with the Wings for the league lead with 97 points though Detroit does have one game in hand. Even with the forgettable February and some of March, the Bruins are still tied for the lead for home ice advantage throughout the playoffs.          

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DADE CITY -- It all started about 7 p.m. Tuesday, authorities said, when a mother looked outside and saw her 19-year-old son masturbating in the back yard. The mother yelled. The son, Antwan L. Grandberry, 19, walked around to thefront of the house on 13th Street in Dade City and rang the doorbell, according to a Dade City Police report. The mother answered and began cursing and yelling at Grandberry, who then punched his mother in her face, the report said. Grandberry, who is listed as unemployed, was arrested on a domestic battery charge and is being held in the Land O'Lakes jail in lieu of $500 bail.

I don’t want to say this mother deserved to get punched in the face, but at the same time she totally did.   I mean everybody knows this is one those issues that you deal with in the clubhouse.  You don’t start screaming out the window or cursing him out in public.  It’s embarrassing.   You got to wait until he’s done and then you call him into your office and explain to him that beating off in the backyard is unacceptable.   That’s how you motivate a guy.   You don’t go running to the newspapers like this.   So I’d be pissed to if I was this kid.   This mother has a lot to learn about being a leader.

ESPN -Jonathan Papelbon is apparently still unhappy with Manny Ramirez. The Boston Red Sox closer calls Ramirez a "cancer" in the April issue of Esquire. "It just takes one guy to bring an entire team down, and that's exactly what was happening," Papelbon said, according to the magazine. "Once we saw that, we weren't afraid to get rid of him. It's like cancer. That's what he was. Cancer. He had to go. It [stunk], but that was the only scenario that was going to work. That was it for us... "He was on a different train! And you saw what happened with that. We got rid of him, and we moved on without him. That comes from the manager, and it comes from guys like Jason Varitek and Tim Wakefield and David Ortiz. Nobody is ever going to be allowed to do that... So Manny was tough for us... You have somebody like him, you know at any point in the ball game, he can dictate the outcome of the game. And for him not to be on the same page as the rest of the team was a killer, man!"

But the atmosphere in the clubhouse changed after the trade, Papelbon said, according to Esquire. "And after, you could feel it in the air in the clubhouse," he said, according to the magazine. "We got Jason Bay -- Johnny Ballgame, plays the game right, plays through broken knees, runs out every ground ball -- and it was like a breath of fresh air, man! Awesome! No question."

I'd always prefer to see Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith fight something out with guns and flamethrowers, but that's a topic for another discussion. The question for today is "Who's right?" Stephen A. is not alone in criticizing Papelbon for speaking out on Manny. No one is debating that Papelbon 100% right in what he said... that the cancer that was Ramirez has Manny-astisized and was spreading throughout the Sox clubhouse and he had to be removed. But Paps is taking loads of crap for being honest by the very media that rips a guy apart if he's not willing to answer their questions. And he's catching flak from the Stephen A's of the world for speaking out against Manny now instead of when he was still with the Sox. Of course Smith has perfected the art of Missing the Point and this time is no exception. The difference between saying something publicly now as opposed to say, last July, is that Manny is no longer Papelbon's teammate. He's the enemy and ought to be treated like it. Don't old timey media types always bemoan the fact that today's players are all mercenaries and don't care about their teams, they're only out for themselves? How many times have I had to listen to some old scribe talking about how Bob Gibson wouldn't talk to guys at the All Star game but when they'd get traded to St. Louis he'd welcome them with open arms because he was all about the Cardinals and loyalty. And how that proves how back in the day men were men and they only cared about winning. Well how is this different? Papelbon kept his mouth shut in public about Manny in the past because he's a Team First guy and calling out a teammate isn't conducive to winning. Him speaking the truth about Manny now is no different than putting a fastball under an opponent's chin, and he should be applauded for it. It's a sad day when Skip friggin' Bayless is the voice of reason.

The only thing missing from this scene yesterday in a Tampa courtroom was Jimmy Hart hitting the Hulkster's lawyer with a megaphone. I mean this can't be real, can it? Do lawyers really yell at each other like this in front of 5,000 cameras? I only thought they did that on TV. Plus where was the Million Dollar Man in all this? I'm sure he would've found a way to settle out of court. Vote 1 for real, vote 10 for fake.

And this my friends is why the ACC can suck the Big East's dick and why BC should have never left the conference. Because while the Superfans were playing in front of 6 people in Podunkville Carolina, Syracuse and Uconn were putting on a game for the ages under the bright lights of the big city at MSG with the world watching. That's just how we do it on the East Coast! Unfortunately for both Syracuse and UConn these are the types of games that basically ruin you for the real tournament. Still this was an instant classic and probably the best college hoops game of all time.

PS - I had the under.

#2 Maria Verchenova is a 22-year-old Russian who, while unknown to many, is already being compared to Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova by experts in the field of ass. Looks like the only thing holding her back now is an agent who can get her some more topless photo shoots.

And your winner is #1 Blair O'Neal. No matter if she is taking her hacks on the course or going topless for a body paint party at the Playboy Mansion, you just can't take a bad pic of the World's Hottest Golfer Blair O'Neal.

Who do you want to Wake Up with? Ub@barstoolsports.com