Random Thoughts

Introducing Samantha from BU and current Bruins Ice Girl.  About time we had an ice girl after our long and storied history with them.   We pretty much put them on the map as far as I’m concerned.  

Do you know any smokeshows?  Send them our way at randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Click here for more pics of Samantha

Well here we go again with the Japanese. First they're making boobs grow bigger, now their pulling Colonel Sanders out of the Osaka River. I mean if you had told me at the beginning of the day that a country would invent something to make boobs grow bigger and pull a Colonel Sanders statue out of a river in the same day, I would've said you were crazy. But the Japanese once again prove KG correct when he said "anything is possible." Granted he wasn't talking about finding a Colonel Sanders statue, but you never know. At this point, it wouldn't suprise me if by Friday they found the cure for cancer.

What can't the Japanese do?

Telegraph - A Romanian truck driver is being hunted by police after releasing a video of himself dancing in his cab as he thunders along a motorway.    The driver - who apparently works all over Europe and the UK - handed the recording to a TV station and You Tube after filming his antics for friends.  As he cranks up the volume on a folk song, the trucker starts thrashing around the cab, waving both hands with barely a glance at the road ahead. Copies of the tape are now being viewed by traffic poilce officers throughout Europe as they try to track down the driver.  He claims the performance was shot by his brother as they drove from Holland to Belgium. Others believe the dance might have been recorded in France.

I think I speak for everybody when I say I hope this is the beginning of something big.   I mean I’m so sick of these international manhunts for guys like Osama Bin Laden.    Way to heavy for me. Instead give me the guy who dances his way through Europe making youtubes of himself taunting the police all the way from Belgium to Belarus.    Now that’s my kind of manhunt…

The Herald - L.A. street artist Shepard Fairey is getting more attention - though not the kind he usually seeks - from Boston cops who are slapping more paper on the notorious graffiti artist. The BPD has charged Fairey with vandalizing 29 Hub properties, including parking meters and buildings, with stickers and posters of his world-famous, iconic Obama “Hope” image and his “Obey” tag. He plastered the Hub with his graffiti art to beef up his image in the street art subculture and promote a local art exhibit “at the expense of public and private property owners,” Detective William Kelley wrote in a police report that lists all 29 locations, mostly in the Back Bay. Fairey... sneered at the new charges, suggesting they are a badge of honor. “I can only assume that the gratuitous piling on of felony charges by the Boston Police is related to my long-standing advocacy as an ARTIST for the idea that public visual space should be filled with more than just commercial advertising,” he said in an e-mail.

Let me start by throwing out the disclaimer that I know there are much bigger problems in the world than spray paint on brick walls. We've got economic collapse and people stealing hundreds of millions from charities and terrorists and war and the demise of "Heroes." I get that. Now that we've acknowledged that, are there enough bad things the Boston PD can do to this self-righteous little jagoff? Not just because he's nothing but a common vandal, a worthless defacer of other people's property, Ernest T. Bass armed with stensils and spray paint instead of bricks who wrecks the quality of life for others. But maybe even more than that, they should lock him up and swallow the key just for that email. Just for calling himself an "ARTIST" (capitals his). What I don't know about art could fill a library, but I know this isn't it.

When I was going to Weymouth South High, we made a lifestyle out of scribbling dicks on each other's books. Left your book unguarded in study hall and you came back to find hastily drawn dicks all over it. Brought up your tray in the cafeteria and there were hundreds of pen-scratched dicks on your notebook. Passed your homework forward and the guys in front of you would cover it with dicks before it ended up in the teachers hand. All this time I thought we were just being obnoxious high school kids. But I declare retroactively I was being an ARTIST for the idea that school books should be filled with just more than trigonometry and Western Civ. Friggin' wanker. Go back to LA and wreck your own house, Fairey.

As a reminder only 3 weeks left of trivia! Now you may be asking what does this photo have to do with trivia tonight? Well we're at Game On! right now shooting our next cover model and truth be told I'll be stunned if I don't end up banging her before trivia starts. How is that possible you ask? Well I've been fucking mashing in the batting cages ever since she showed up and I can tell she's impressed as shit. I guess it's true what they say. Chicks dig the long ball. How do you think I bagged the First Lady in first place? And yes the batting cages will be open at 6pm...

(Leo Esterbrooks and every chick in Boston just wet themselves)

Noiseaddicts- Music and sound can have a powerful effect on the mind. A slow, light song can relax you, a happy, upbeat song can give you energy, and a good driving song can make your journey seem half as long. A song from a tape that you completely wore out in high school can bring you back instantly. A researcher in Tokyo, Japan who studies the mind and artificial intelligence has taken this one step further. He is trying to show not only that music and sound can affect your mind, but that it can also make physical changes to your body. The experiment goes like this: In Japanese cities, people use cell phones. A LOT. It’s not uncommon for people in Tokyo to hear their cell phone ring 20-40 times per day. Hideto Tomabechi, one of the guys who helped deprogram members of the Aum Shinrikyo cult in Japan, has embedded a sound in a ringtone that fools your mind into interpreting it as a crying baby.  The hypothesis is that if women’s minds and bodies respond to the ringtone in the same way that they are known to respond to a real crying baby, then they will experience the same physiological effects as if they heard the real thing .  If it’s heard often enough, over time their breasts will grow.

A cell phone that makes chicks boobs grow?   Are you shitting me?   This is fucking brilliant! I swear to god the fact that we beat Japan in WWII has to be the greatest upset in the history of the world.   I mean how did we invent the Atom Bomb before they did?   Seriously it makes Tyson/Douglas and the Miracle on Ice look like child’s play.   I just hope they never decide to attack us again because it would be over before it even started.  You can’t compete against a country that has figured out how to make chicks boobs grow naturally.  No way, no how.

If you said the hitting coach for the Netherlands team in the World Baseball Classic, you’d be correct!   

For those of you who are not familiar with Hensley “Bam Bam” Meulens (born in Curacao) he was supposed to be the second coming of Christ at 3B for the Yankees in the early 90’s.  Along with fellow “rated rookie” Kevin Maas, they were the ones who the Yankees believed would bring a championship back to the Bronx after a long-suffering 12 year drought for their fans.  Obviously that didn’t work out, but fast-forward 20 years and who do I see last night in the Netherlands dugout as they pulled off the upset over the highly-juiced up, I mean highly-favored, Dominican Republic team? Yup, it's Bam Bam as the hitting coach. Also spotted was Sydney Ponson. It was like a parade of washed-up ex-Yankees. I was waiting for Ed Whitson to come out of the bullpen. Anyway, last night's game was an instant classic for those of you who actually watched it, and will probably go down in history as the Dutch version of the Miracle on Ice.  Except instead of Lake Placid and Herb Brooks, it’s San Juan and Bam Bam Meulens.

PS - Whoever the play-by-play guy is for the MLB Network was tremendous.  Much better than Joe Buck.  I mean he actually sounded like he cared about the game.

Click here for the final play

Philly.com - Former Eagle Mike Mamula will referee the fight between Lindsay Lohan's father, Michael Lohan, and Q102's Rocco during a Celebrity Boxing event April 3 at the Ramada Inn, near Philadelphia International Airport.... Adult film actor Travis Knight, husband of starlet Gina Lynn, is also raising money for Pawlowski's family through fight tickets sold at Skin, his clothing store at the King of Prussia Mall. Knight is taking on "Survivor" alum Gervase Peterson.

Say what you will about Boston College, but you've got to give them their props for preparing their student/athletes for life after sports. Consider Mamula's resume' for example: He went from college defensive end to BC grad to holder of the all time record for "Most Jaw-dropping NFL Combine Numbers" to 7th overall pick to tweener end/outside linebacker in the pros to to draft bust to out of the league in six years to member of the advisory board for an indoor water park. to the guy who's name is synonymous with workout warriors who can't play the game. And now he's refereeing "celebrity" boxing matches involving perverted criminal celebrity dads, anonymous FM DJs, porn stars and long forgotten reality "stars". It's inspirational, really. The kind of stuff they mention in the promos for the schools on college football gameday: "Boston College Athletics: Building tomorrow's D-list Celebrity Boxing Referees Today."

Reader Email

El Prez,

Is this natural light room lame?

I know most of your "is this lame" posts are pretty good, but I think this is worthy of a t-shirt. Take into consideration that I am writing you this email piss drunk, and I just got back from the hardrock casino in Tampa where I bought in $200, $100, $100 and then a thumb printed $200 because I had "unusual activity"  at the check cashing desk. I walked out up $900 overall in blackjack because I couldn't leave down (like most degenerate gamblers) which usually never works out...feeling pretty good. I'm about to enjoy my spring break during my senior year of college, originally from Westborough, MA but live in Tampa right now. Anyways...my buddies made a Natural Light room filled with 12 pack box cut outs posted on the wall (Florida doesn't have 30 racks) purely from playing beer pong. Love the site, check in everyday...keep up the good work! 

Thanks for the gambling story.  You really had me on the edge of my seat there for minute.  FYI - I've lost 25K since January. Anyway I’m going to vote not Lame for this and here is why.   I’m just assuming that this is the room where you guys play Beer Pong.  So I like the dizzying effect that these boxes must have on an opponent.   In fact I bet the Natty Light Terror Dome is worth like 4 points a game.   So anything that gives you that big of a home court advantage I’m voting not lame for.    

Vote 1 for not lame and 10 for lame

Ass #1

Ass #2

Ass #3

Click Here For the Answers To Today's Guess That Ass Fiesta

(not to be confused with Cum Fiesta)

Manny Fernandez' mask is apparently the Bruins' version of the Brady Bunch tiki idol. After being railroaded behind his net by Blue Jacket Jiri Novotny in the 3rd during a scoreless and chippy affair, a hit that knocked off Tank Thomas' helmet causing it to break (incidental contact that often warrants a goaltender interference call), the tender was forced to use his back-up's mask for a few minutes when his couldn't be repaired in a timely manner and apparently didn't have a back-up handy. And in the brief time that Thomas sported the mask, he surrendered his lone goal against and eventual game-winner to Raffi Torres, as the Bs continued their slumping ways with a 2-0 whitewashing at the hands of Columbus, their 5th loss in six games. The loss also reduced their Wales Conference lead to six points of New Jersey (with Jersey holding two games in hand).

Click For The Rest of Rear Admiral's B's Blog

COTUIT - On a recent Sunday morning, 30-year-old Nicole Lamarche, a former Miss California, stood before a crowd in a simple clapboard church next to a local watering hole. She wore high-heeled boots, her thin figure draped in a black robe. "I feel so lucky to be your pastor," she proclaimed.Lamarche became minister of Cotuit Federated Church two years ago, shaking up its stodgy routine and causing quite a stir in this quiet Cape Cod village of about 2,600 year-round residents. She says four parishioners defected early on, after people Googled her name and discovered her beauty pageant past, but these days residents credit Lamarche with injecting new dynamism into the town and the church. Lamarche says she understands that for some the "pastor in a swimsuit thing" is hard to swallow, but she simply needed the money. Loyal members of her congregation accept her explanation, buoying her spirits. Plus, says Lamarche, "If you can walk on a stage in your swimsuit, you can do anything."... "Just listen to it," said Pam Bode, a member of the church since 1985. "This is a church that has come alive." "She's good for God," agreed Norman Knight, a 79-year-old retired welder, one of about a hundred regular members of the church who now attend weekly.

For openers, the good Rev. Lamarche can knock it off with this "I needed the money" business. Her winning the Miss California contest wasn't a mistake; it was God's will. The Good Lord only makes so many Miss California-caliber beauties, and by winning the pageant Nicole was an instrument of His divine plan. And now she's serving the Lord further by being the hot minister who puts asses in the seats every Sunday. My in-laws live in Cotuit so I know of what I speak when I say that churches on the Cape are run like businesses. Or like the Mob. You want to stay in racket, you've got be an earner. They're all about bringining in the big money rich Cape donors. They're as much about profits as they are about prophets. We got married at Christ the King in Mashpee... Vatican West... and believe me the priest who ran the place didn't get there by how well he did the benediction. He's got the big parish because he's not shy about grabbing you by the ankles and shaking the loose change out of your pockets. It's an arms race among the Cape churches and Rev. Nicole Lamarche is a nuke. She's got 79 year old welders showing up every week just to put money in her collection plate and tell her dirty stories in the confessional. It's an ingenious hiring job by the Federated Church when you think about it because first she creates the sin... causing you lusting after her and coveting her goods and so on... then she can absolve you of it. You create the market, then you fill the demand. It's the perfect business model. Then there's the hope that maybe, just maybe, she'll give a homily in the swimsuit. Because covering up those abs is the real sin.

#7 Kristy Gallacher is probably the hottest of the bunch. She's the Monica Bellucci of golf. You can't name a movie she's been in, but you've seen at least a dozen of her nude scenes. The 33-year-old Scot loses points in UB's list because she's more of an amateur golfer. But as the daughter of former Ryder Cup captain Bernard Gallacher, she's no slouch herself...

#6 Erica Blasberg is your buddy's hot girlfriend who he dumped you for and now plays golf with on Saturday afternoons. The 24-year-old California native needs to let the hair down more and get a stylist. She's got that hot naughty school-girl thing in there for sure. It would be like when Adrian took off the 6 sweaters in Rocky then got double-teamed by Gazzo's bodyguard and Spider Rico.