Random Thoughts

The Smoking Gun has obtained a copy of the police report in regards to the alleged rape that occurred during a men's lacrosse team party. Within the report, three individuals- Adam, Brett and Matt- are named by first name only by the victim. But go to Duke's official athletics website, goduke.com, and the lacrosse roster, which was there yesterday, is mysteriously gone. It's a shady move by the school. The Duke students accused of rape are all adults. Duke isn't a junior high school; there is no legal reason to protect the students' identities.

With the Women's Final Four just days away from invading Boston- anyone else skipping work next Tuesday to pregame for the National Championship!- it's time to dig deep into the rosters of Duke, UNC, Maryland and LSU and figure out one critically important thing- do any of these teams have any hot chicks? The answer in a nutshell is no. Absolutely, positively no. Brittany Jackson isn't walking through that door. Stacey Dales-Schuman isn't walking through that door. Sue Bird isn't walking through that door.

I scoured all four rosters, did Google searches on anyone who seemed the least bit promising and didn't find a single player that I felt I just had to post. There were a couple of girls who wouldn't raise the dead but let's just say that apparently headshots are not required tools of recruiting in women's college hoops.

But there was one young lady who deserved special attention. Say hello to Rashanda McCants, current Tar Heels' player and sister of former UNC superstar Rashad McCants. I honestly feel terrible for this girl because she is the spitting image of her brother. Her team photo looks like they just photoshopped some long hair onto her brother's team picture from last year.

I got the following quote story from Deadspin.com.   Apparently the commissioner of the Big 10, Jim Delany visited Bristol this week.   In anticipation of his visit an internal memo was distributed around ESPN yesterday:

“Jim Delany, the Commissioner of the Big Ten Conference will be on the Bristol campus tomorrow and Thursday. It is important for us to show him and his associates that “Bristol is Big Ten Country”.

As you have noticed, we have put pennants, banners, and Big Ten flags on campus. In addition, we have had buttons made proclaiming “Bristol is Big Ten Country”. These buttons are available at the following locations:

Building 2 Lobby
Building A Lobby
Building B Lobby
Cafeteria

Please pick one up and wear it tomorrow and Thursday.”

Are you serious?   How lame is this?  As I was reading this I thought for sure the memo was going to remind people not to discuss the NCAA Tournament since the Big 10 took the gas pipe.   I would have completely understood if that was the case, but this is crazy.   I’m so glad I work out of my apartment and there is nobody around to make me wear buttons and stuff.  I wonder if they had an ice cream party after? 

Notre Dame safety Tom Zbikowski, a former Golden Gloves boxer out of Chicago, is scheduled to make his professional debut at Madison Square Garden in June. I have so many thoughts running through my head about this that I don't know where to begin. First, I think this is a prime example of how screwed up the NCAA is. Is it possible to simultaneously be a professional and amateur athlete? According to the NCAA, it is because Zbikowski will not be involved in any commercial endorsements which basically means that he can't be out hawking mouth guards. But he can make money off the bout which seems kind of confusing to me. So he can't make money off commercial endorsements, because apparently publicly traded companies like Nike and Everlast are shady, but boxing promoters, perhaps the scummiest group of people in the world, can throw as much money as it takes to get Zbikowski in the ring. Makes perfect sense.

Second, what if Zbikowski gets hurt? Is he going to reimburse Notre Dame the $40,000 he gets in scholarship money? There is no way in hell that Charlie Weis is happy about this. Zbikowski is a star on his defense, a third team All-American, and one of the team's leaders on and off the field. If coaches can prohibit their players from playing some pickup basketball in the off-season, why isn't Zbikowski prohibited from getting into a boxing ring? It seems like a no-brainer.

Third, I hope to God that Zbikowski gets drilled in the first round. Not because I have anything personally against him but because if some golden boy from Notre Dame, a Fighting Irish player to boot, a decent-looking white dude with tons of highlight reel hits on the football field, wins this bout I am guaranteeing that sportswriters across America will go absolutely crazy for this kid. Not to mention how many boxing references the NBC announcers will make every ND game. It will be intolerable.

What is the matter with college students today? The Duke lax team wants to throw a party so they hire a few strippers. Hey, why the hell not, it's college, right? But somehow these morons managed to embroil themselves in a national scandal that could potentially dismantle their entire season and land some of them in jail. There are conflicting stories about what actually happened but essentially one of the strippers, who is black, is accusing several members of the team of rape, stating that they pulled her into a bathroom, beat, choked and raped her. Just in case the Dukies weren't sure that they would be completely loathed and hated by everyone, they decided to scream racial obscenities at the girl (neighbors heard the remarks) as she ran from the house. Proud day for the Blue Devils.

There are a few things that stick out about this story. One, this is yet another reason why people can hate Duke. Two, where was Shelden Williams when all this was going down? Three, why did the strippers not have a bodyguard present? As someone who planned three "special" nights at college- and I didn't puss out and move the party off campus. Pulled off the entire show with a sheet over the dorm's living room- I never encountered a dancer who didn't come with at least one bodyguard. I'm not saying for one moment that it's the dancer's fault if she didn't have a bodyguard- I've just never encountered a situation in which a dancer working a large, private party didn't bring some shady looking dude with her. There is no way that this ends well.

The Final Four is set. The first semifinal game feels an awful lot like a National Championship game as two stories franchises in Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel play for the right to go to go to the National Championship game.  Despite being the only #1 seed to make it to the Final Four there is lots of controversy in the Alba camp after Wilder Valderama’s went on Stern yesterday and claimed she was “too good to be true” in the sack.   Meanwhile Jessica Biel seems to be all business.   I have to give the slight edge to Biel in this one and this is just because she and I had a moment a couple years back at the Joshua Tree in Somerville.    Our eyes definitely locked for at least 2 seconds and I think she was digging what she saw.    On the other side of the bracket we have two Cinderella stories in Kate Beckinsdale vs. Stacey Kiebler.  Beckinsdale has been the giant killer this tournament knocking out the likes of Carmen Electra,  Giselle, Charlize Theron and Tiffany Amber Thiessen.   Now for the first time all tournament she’ll be a significant favorite against Stacey Kiebler who shocked the world by beating the overall #1 seed Angelina Jolie.    Kiebler is riding a wave of momentum from her Dancing With the Stars debut and looks to continue her remarkable run through the tournament.     I think the fact that she has no outside game or boobs will catch up with her this round.  Here are my picks.

Biel over Alba

Beckindale over Kiebler

National Championship – Biel over Beckindale

There are two sure signs that spring has arrived in Boston. One, everyone walking down the street has a Dunkin' Donuts' iced coffee. If, as a society, we were serious about ending all discrimination and bigotry we would pull together the world's greatest scientific minds and have them study the undeniable allure of the Dunkin' Donuts' iced coffee. There isn't a segment of Bostonian society that isn't completely hooked on DD iced coffees. Doesn't matter how old you are, where your ancestors are from, how much money you have, whether or not you agreed with the Bronson Arroyo deal. The only thing that unites all Bostonians is Dunkin' Donuts' iced coffee.

The other sure sign of spring is short skirts. I think that women are a little pissed that they're forced to shave their legs more than once every fortnight but short skirts just make me smile. Jogging in sports bras can't be far behind.

A couple thoughts from American Idol.   I was pretty disappointed with everybody’s performances last night.   My boy Taylor Hix was good, but I like watching him dance around and go nuts.   The fact that he tried to be super serious took away a lot of what I like about him.  Chris Daughtry was good as well, but I understand what Simon is saying when he says that he may have gone a little too heavy for American Idol.  There were probably 1,000 little girls across the country that had nightmares because of that Creed song last night. Kelly Pickler was decent.   I could care less that she’s singing about bubbles and laundry and stuff like that.  Frankly that seems to be exactly what she should be singing about.  My major problem with Pickler is that she seems to be getting uglier every single show. Speaking of ugly, if Elliot Yamin wins American Idol it will replace Buster Douglas knocking out Mike Tyson as the greatest uspet in the history of sports. My favorite performance of the night was Parris with her fully loaded extensions.   I want people to put on a show for me and that’s exactly what she did.   And anytime a chick drops it like she’s hot I’m happy.    My final question is where the hell does Mandisa find jeans that fit her?  Those have to be custom made right?    I think she needs to drop the jeans from her wardrobe.   I think they make her look fatter than she really is if that’s possible.     As a side note, nothing gets me more fired up for American Idol than when they show George Huff in the audience.    I feel like this guy doesn’t miss a show.    For me George Huff is the Michael Buffer of American Idol.  Once I see him clapping and bobbing his head I know its go time.